follow up to this story :)
a few sundays into our entanglement, i ask him if there is a possibility for us. he says i need to focus on experiencing life.
i understand it as, if i matured, if i grew up and became an adult, he’d let me in. officially.
so i did.
i finished grad school, i had a shitty job and then got a less shitty job. i went from multiple roomates to having my own apartment, to seeing friends get married and have babies, to me living with a boyfriend and having a dog and then breaking up. traveling, going to concerts, eating at fancy restaurants.
i had the life i wanted except for one thing.